Do not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching Manchester United Matches.

 De Gea passes to Smalling, over to Fellaini, he gives it to Carrick, back to De Gea, over to Schweinsteiger, who holds it... holds it.... holds it... (image via Frinkiac)

De Gea passes to Smalling, over to Fellaini, he gives it to Carrick, back to De Gea, over to Schweinsteiger, who holds it... holds it.... holds it... (image via Frinkiac)

Seriously, this Simpsons clip essentially illustrates the divide between the vast majority of the soccer world and Louis van Gaal. While everyone else (including United's biggest corporate sponsor) sees a boring, impotent team that can't break down a third-division team at home, van Gaal sees his philosophy at work.

"We can improve but how many chances have Sheffield United created? Nobody is talking about that," he said after the game, a 1-0 victory for United after a stoppage-time penalty gave the team its best scoring chance of the day. Maybe the reason why no one is talking about it is because United shouldn't be giving up any chances to a team 47 places below it in the English football standings. But hey, how about those possession stats? 71 percent! That's a C- at most schools. A much higher grade than United deserved for its poor showing against Sheffield.

Anyway, how bad did it get? When Memphis Depay came on and fired a shot that wasn't on target but actually made the goalkeeper work, the fans in the Stretford End immediately burst into ironic applause. It was actually kind of funny:

Victor Li

chicago, il