Browsing Tag

adoption

Things I Wish I Had Known About IVF

I really thought it was going to be easy.

Sure, natural conception hadn’t worked out for us, but I figured IVF would be a piece of cake. After all, lots of people have babies that way, right? All I’d have to do is show up to the fertility doctor’s office and use their porn room to produce a semen sample (Hollywood has taught me that every office has a porn room). They’d mix it with my wife’s eggs, freeze them, and then we’d show up one day and they would simply implant one or two in my wife’s uterus. Nine months later, we’d be parents.

Boy, was I naive.

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The Finger of Destiny

What will you do when the finger of Destiny points at you?

For us, we decided to adopt her. Maybe it was destiny (pun intended) that she came to us. She arrived in Chicago the same week that Bernie passed. And she joined us right as we were about to embark on a particularly difficult period without him and helped us through it.

Plus, she’s been such a sweetheart that we just couldn’t let her go. She took to us from the moment she arrived home, and we definitely fell for her. Looks like we’ve failed as foster parents.

However, we just couldn’t abide by her name. So from henceforth, she will be known as Dessie Lisa Vito. First of her name. Queen of all she surveys. Barker at other dogs. Killer of rodents. Conquerer of bed space.

Welcome to the family, Dessie. Thank you for helping heal our broken hearts. Now if you’d only stop trying to kill all those possums.