Jack Bauer

Return of the King

A lot can change in 24 hours. Just ask Jack Bauer.

Or Cristiano Ronaldo. On Thursday, it looked like he was ready to break the hearts of the faithful United fans who still sing his name and join Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. In doing so, he would be the eighth player to suit up for both United and City — and the third player from that vaunted 2007-2008 Champions League winning team to do so.

But then the United Network kicked in. Sir Alex Ferguson spoke to the player he’s long had a fatherly affection for and tried to get him to come home, something he thought he had accomplished in 2013 as his last act before retirement. Former teammates weighed in, with Rio Ferdinand calling to try and talk him out of joining City, Patrice Evra keeping tabs via WhatsApp and Wayne Rooney sending a message through the media. Even Bruno Fernandes reached out to his fellow Portuguese international and Sporting Lisbon alum to try and change his mind and sell him on an unlikely homecoming.

It worked.

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Jack Bauer’s Greatest Hits (UPDATED)

Originally published in 2010 prior to the end of 24‘s original broadcast run. Updated to include 2014’s 24: Live Another Day, as well as some additional content.

“Nice work, Jack. Have you noticed that there’s always a body count wherever you go?” — George Mason

“He said you were a born killer. Is that true?” — Jonathan Wallace

During his time on 24, Jack Bauer killed a lot of people. Main characters. Supporting characters. Featured stars. Unnamed Extras. You name it, Jack has probably killed it. As such, it was very difficult to narrow down the list of Jack’s greatest moments. And let’s face it. He also had plenty of badass moments where he didn’t kill anyone – instead relying on his wit, charm, resourcefulness, and powers of persuasion.

So, in honor of one of my favorite shows, I give you “Jack Bauer’s Greatest Hits” (A/K/A “The Moments that Made Amnesty International Cringe”).

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“24: Live Another Day” Trailer Review

At a time when the use of “enhanced interrogation” techniques is back in the news, it’s fitting that the crown prince of torture, Jack Bauer, returns to the airwaves in May for the first time since 2010. Yesterday, FOX released an extended trailer for Season 9 (ORIGINAL WAS REMOVED- I’VE LINKED TO A FAN-EDIT THAT IS SIMILAR)- which will feature 12 episodes that jump around in time instead of the usual 24 episodes occurring in real time. If that cuts down on filler plots like Terri’s amnesia or Kim’s cougar problem, then I’m all for it.

When we last left our hero, he had finally gotten with the extremely cute and mentally unbalanced Agent Renee, only to lose her to a Russian sniper. So, he did what anyone would do. He waged a one-man guerrilla war against the United States and Russia by taking out several Russian diplomats while threatening to kill a former President of the United States. Of course, he escapes and ultimately ends up spending the next few years on the lam, reinventing himself as a reporter with an autistic son.

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Return of the King

Jack Bauer’s Greatest Hits (UPDATED)

“24: Live Another Day” Trailer Review