Browsing Tag

Cristiano Ronaldo

All Part of the Plan?

In many ways, the just-completed transfer window was a sort of Greatest Hits complication of Manchester United’s mistakes from previous ones. So Greatest Misses, then?

For instance, there was the long, drawn-out and ultimately fruitless pursuit of a Barcelona midfielder who didn’t seem interested in leaving the Camp Nou.

There was the decision not to spend a reasonable amount of money to buy a player from the manager’s previous team, only to then get desperate, come back late in the transfer window and be forced to pay a premium.

There was the panic purchase of a top-class player who has won big trophies and could yet come good at United but probably isn’t a fit for their style of play.

And, of course, there was a transfer bid that seemed more like a late April Fools prank than a genuine deal.

The only thing that was missing was a group of shady intermediaries turning up at a team’s doorstep claiming to represent United only to be disavowed by the team. But then again, this window had a player’s mom scupper a move over wage demands, so there’s that.

Nevertheless, there’s a lot to like about what United ended up doing in the transfer window — costs be damned.

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To Tell The Truth

Ralf Rangnick’s spell as interim manager was a failure.

His tenure in the Manchester United dugout finally came to an end on Sunday after yet another listless effort — this time, losing at Crystal Palace 1-0 in a stadium where they had never lost a Premier League match. A season that began with so much promise and genuine excitement, had turned into such a nightmare that most people just wanted it to end, consequences be damned. That United managed to back into a Europa League place thanks to West Ham losing summed things up pretty well.

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It’s The Hope That Kills You

There’s been a familiar pattern at Manchester United, as of late.

United win a couple of matches, and everything is hunky-dory. Ralf Rangnick is a great manager who’s making his mark and could even get the job on a permanent basis.

They lose or draw a couple, and the buzzards start flying overhead. Suddenly, Rangnick is in over his head, and players are questioning his tactics and training sessions (because heaven forbid they start later in the day or work on basic things like team shape and organization). ESPN even reported that the players have started derisively referring to American-born assistant Chris Armas as “Ted Lasso,” after the titular character in the popular Apple+ series starring Jason Sudeikis as a clueless Yankee manager who somehow manages to land a job coaching an English football team.

You know what? United would be lucky to have Ted Lasso right now.

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Asleep at the Wheel

Never let it be said that Ole Gunnar Solskjær wasn’t the ultimate company man.

When Manchester United finally decided to sack him as manager after a series of humiliating losses and poor performances but didn’t want to use that terminology, Solskjær went along with the charade and said that he was “stepping aside.” He even gave an exit interview with ManUtd.com that was full of platitudes and niceties. He even managed, with a straight face, to deliver lines like “It was time for me to step aside” and “I’m going to leave by the front door” even though everyone knows he’s being shoved aside (and deservedly so, but that doesn’t mean he should have to swallow his pride or continuing taking one for the team on the way out). I can only imagine what Louis van Gaal or Jose Mourinho would have said to that. Probably a two word phrase that starts with the letter “f” and ends with the word “off.”

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Return of the King

A lot can change in 24 hours. Just ask Jack Bauer.

Or Cristiano Ronaldo. On Thursday, it looked like he was ready to break the hearts of the faithful United fans who still sing his name and join Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. In doing so, he would be the eighth player to suit up for both United and City — and the third player from that vaunted 2007-2008 Champions League winning team to do so.

But then the United Network kicked in. Sir Alex Ferguson spoke to the player he’s long had a fatherly affection for and tried to get him to come home, something he thought he had accomplished in 2013 as his last act before retirement. Former teammates weighed in, with Rio Ferdinand calling to try and talk him out of joining City, Patrice Evra keeping tabs via WhatsApp and Wayne Rooney sending a message through the media. Even Bruno Fernandes reached out to his fellow Portuguese international and Sporting Lisbon alum to try and change his mind and sell him on an unlikely homecoming.

It worked.

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The Manchester United Perennial Transfer Targets XI

For certain players, being linked with Manchester United has become a semi-annual tradition. Some players have been on the verge of joining United for so many years that you wonder whether media outlets merely have templates that they trot out every few months where they just fill in the name and price.

In fact, you can make a pretty good team with all of the players that Manchester United have been linked with in the transfer market over the last few years. Some ground rules: I looked at longevity of the rumors and gave preference to players who are still currently linked to the club (sorry Cesc). Also, I disqualified Cristiano Ronaldo, Paul Pogba and Gerard Pique and other ex-United players because it’s only natural for them to be linked to their former team.

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It Was Seven Years Ago Today

One of my favorite memories. Cristiano Ronaldo scoring on a beautiful header off a Wes Brown cross. Ryan Giggs nearly scoring in extra time. Drogba hitting the post, then getting sent off near the end of extra time for slapping Nemanja Vidic. Both sides employing game theory during the penalty shootout. Ronaldo missing his penalty. John Terry slipping and falling. Edwin van der Sar psyching out Nicolas Anelka. And, of course, Manchester United winning its third, and to date, last, Champions League trophy.

This match also marked the start of my professional writing career. At least I’ll always know that I started out on a high.

Here We Go Again…

Perpetual Manchester United target Wesley Sneijder finally looks set to fulfill his destiny by securing a lucrative move… to Juventus.

Based on various media sources, Wesley Sneijder has been on the verge of joining Manchester United in nearly every transfer window over the last four-plus years. The media continue to link Sneijder to United even though the team has no need for him as he doesn’t play center-back and there are already too many creative midfield types at the club. Sure, there have been other names continuously linked with the club, like Cesc Fabregas, Gareth Bale or Arturo Vidal. But none of those players have generated as many stories or produced as many twists-and-turns over the years as Sneijder. He’s been on the way to Old Trafford for so long that United might as well give him a testimonial when he retires.

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Talent Isn’t Everything

If you type “Nani work ethic” into Google, the top result is a 2010 story on an inactive Manchester United blog with the headline: “Nani’s trickery and Berbatov’s work ethic inspires United to crucial win.” That’s right. Dimitar Berbatov, who has never done anything at full speed, is the one whose work ethic is praised. The next two results are social media posts complaining about Nani’s lack of work ethic. The next two are about two people named Nani who don’t play soccer. Likewise, if you type in “Nani hard work” the top result is 2011 story from the Daily Mail about Nani, who was in the midst of a career year, talking about the hard work he put into learning how to shoot with both feet.

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