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Chelsea

Mr. Overrated?

Here are few things that most football fans can probably agree on:

  • The Euros were better before they expanded the field. The World Cup is going to suck when they do it in 2026.
  • Five substitutions in a match is actually a pretty good rule change.
  • Neymar is massively, extremely, hopelessly overrated.

A lot of pundits, players and fans will argue that last point until they’re blue in the face. This despite his incredible resume, his overflowing trophy case (he’s won everything there is to win except the World Cup and Copa America), his status as Brazil’s all-time leading goal scorer (depending on what Pelé’s official record is), and some truly, jaw-dropping skills and awe-inspiring goals. His goal scoring record at Barcelona (105 goals in 186 matches) is better than Ronaldinho’s (94 goals in 207 matches) and his goals-to-games ratio is better than those of Ronaldinho, Rivaldo, Patrick Kluivert, Hristo Stoichkov and David Villa.

Nevertheless, if you Google “Neymar is overrated,” you’ll get a ton of columns, blog posts, YouTube videos, listicles, podcasts and Q&A pages asking things like “Is Neymar overrated?” and “Why is Neymar overrated?”

So when stories popped up this week about Manchester United potentially renewing its long-running interest in the Brazilian and finally bringing him to Old Trafford, let’s just say it inspired up lots of reactions.

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Player and Goal of the Year?

UPDATE (05/25/2023): Casemiro did it again, scoring the opener against Chelsea and then playing a beautiful, Magic Johnson-esque no-look, line-splitting pass that set up United’s second goal. United ended up winning 4-1 to clinch Champions League football for next season. Next stop: The Sir Matt Busby and/or Players’ Player of the Year Trophy?

If there were any doubt that Casemiro has been Manchester United’s player of the season, he erased them on Saturday.

Showing an impressive bit of skill that you’d expect more from someone like Ronaldinho or Neymar, Casemiro scored on a beautiful overhead kick, leading United to a important 1-0 win at Bournemouth that put them on the brink of qualifying for next year’s Champions League.

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The Start of Great Things (Hopefully).

On Sunday, February 26, 2017, Manchester United won the League Cup at Wembley Stadium under first-year manager Jose Mourinho. Despite being second-best for much of the match, United prevailed thanks to goals from Man of the Match Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the serial winner they signed during the previous summer, and academy product Jesse Lingard, as well as some timely saves from all-world keeper David de Gea.

Exactly six years later, United ended their long trophy drought in an eerily similar fashion. United, under first-year manager Erik ten Hag, were second-best for much of Sunday’s 2-0 victory over Newcastle United. However, they managed to prevail thanks to goals from Man of the Match Casemiro, the serial winner they signed during the previous summer, and academy product Marcus Rashford, as well as some timely saves from all-world keeper David de Gea.

Let’s hope the parallels end there.

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The Return of Shawberto Carlos

Shawlo Maldini? Shawnis Irwin? Shawtrice Evra? Shawley Cole? Actually scratch that last one. No self-respecting Manchester United fan would accept that nickname.

There have been several moments over the past decade where a more apt nickname for Luke Shaw would have been Shawlexander Buttner or Shawron Borthwick-Jackson. And like those namesakes, there have been times where it looked like Shaw was going to follow them to the exits.

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Solving a Pressing Need

Thanks to a vicious Andy Carroll tackle during Manchester United’s 3-1 victory over Reading in the FA Cup last Saturday that, somehow, escaped a booking (although the Liverpool flop and Boyzone fanatic did pick up two yellows later), Christian Eriksen will be out for most of the rest of the season.

Surely, United are screwed, right? Eriksen has been one of the club’s standout performers this year and his creativity and guile have been instrumental in the team’s uptick in form. Without him, our dreams of winning silverware are shot, right?

Maybe. But at least United were able to put a contingency plan in place.

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It’s The Hope That Kills You

There’s been a familiar pattern at Manchester United, as of late.

United win a couple of matches, and everything is hunky-dory. Ralf Rangnick is a great manager who’s making his mark and could even get the job on a permanent basis.

They lose or draw a couple, and the buzzards start flying overhead. Suddenly, Rangnick is in over his head, and players are questioning his tactics and training sessions (because heaven forbid they start later in the day or work on basic things like team shape and organization). ESPN even reported that the players have started derisively referring to American-born assistant Chris Armas as “Ted Lasso,” after the titular character in the popular Apple+ series starring Jason Sudeikis as a clueless Yankee manager who somehow manages to land a job coaching an English football team.

You know what? United would be lucky to have Ted Lasso right now.

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Asleep at the Wheel

Never let it be said that Ole Gunnar Solskjær wasn’t the ultimate company man.

When Manchester United finally decided to sack him as manager after a series of humiliating losses and poor performances but didn’t want to use that terminology, Solskjær went along with the charade and said that he was “stepping aside.” He even gave an exit interview with ManUtd.com that was full of platitudes and niceties. He even managed, with a straight face, to deliver lines like “It was time for me to step aside” and “I’m going to leave by the front door” even though everyone knows he’s being shoved aside (and deservedly so, but that doesn’t mean he should have to swallow his pride or continuing taking one for the team on the way out). I can only imagine what Louis van Gaal or Jose Mourinho would have said to that. Probably a two word phrase that starts with the letter “f” and ends with the word “off.”

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The Manager Formerly Known as the Special One.

Manchester United sacked Mourinho on Tuesday morning before training began. Club legend Ole Gunnar Solskjær has been named caretaker manager for the rest of the season, whereupon the club will appoint a permanent manager – maybe Mauricio Pochettino of Tottenham, ex-Real Madrid boss Zinedine Zidane, or Mourinho’s BFF Antonio Conte. Or maybe someone else. Who knows?

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The Strongman Cometh

The common refrain about Jose Mourinho teams is that the good ones always have a strong spine.

At Porto, he had a spine that comprised, mainly, of Vítor Baía, Ricardo Carvalho, Costinha, Deco, and Hélder Postiga. During his first go-around at Chelsea, he added Carvalho and Didier Drogba to the already-strong Petr Cech-John Terry-Claude Makélélé-Frank Lampard based spine he got from Claudio Raineri. At Inter, he inherited a fantastic defensive spine and added playmaker Wesley Sneijder and hitman Samuel Eto’o to provide the goals. His best Real Madrid team was held up by a spine that consisted of eventual nemeses Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos, as well as Pepe, Sami Khedira, Xabi Alonso, Mesut Özil and Karim Benzema. The spine for his second Chelsea go-around (Thibaut Courtois, Terry, Gary Cahill, Nemanja Matic, Cesc Fabregas, Diego Costa) was so strong that it helped power the team to another title win following Mourinho’s dismissal.

Now, with Matic’s defection to Old Trafford, Mourinho finally has the kind of spine that can rival those of his best teams.

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Exit Adnan

West Brom 5-5 Manchester United on the last day of the 2012-13 season was notable for several reasons. It was Sir Alex Ferguson’s final game in charge. It marked the only time that Romelu Lukaku ever scored against United, as the Chelsea loanee (and recent potential world record signee) bagged a hat trick as a substitute.

Perhaps the most important figure, however, was a baby-faced 18 year-old who looked out of place sitting at the grownup table. The West Brom match marked the first time that a young, promising Academy product named Adnan Januzaj was listed on the team sheet for a Premier League match. He didn’t get into the game, as West Brom’s comeback meant that there would be no opportunities for any debutantes. Nevertheless, his very presence on the bench was powerfully symbolic. Arriving at United via Anderlecht, the talented Belgian /Albanian /Kosovar represented the best of Ferguson’s youth policy and was one of the biggest reasons why David Moyes got the job over more established names like Jose Mourinho. After Januzaj was the lone bright spot during the traumatic 2013-2014 season, it seemed like he was well on his way to becoming a world class winger in the vein of Ryan Giggs, the legend whose number he inherited the following season.

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